Frustration vs The Process
I’m frustrated with my work in lockdown: it has no direction, it’s not good enough, it’s not the subject that I want to cover and it’s repetitive. I can’t shake the feeling that I should and could do better. I tried harder, locked myself up in the creative part of my brain and looked for magical inspiration. Whatever I do, the works still isn’t good enough.
But maybe it’s not the work in itself, maybe it’s all about the standards by which I judge it. You see, I’ve been trying to fight the instant gratification thing that came with social media for a couple of years now. We’ve become so programmed to think in individual images and the number of likes.
I know that hindsight is the best judge of the value of an image. And I know that a series of pictures is often more valuable than a single image. You get likes based on how spectacular an image is perceived on a phone screen, not based upon the importance of the image. I know all that and still it’s a constant fight not to fall into the instant gratification trap.
And even if these pictures in time turn out to be without direction, limited in subject matter and repetitive, it’s still the narrative of this time in my life.
So I’m soldering on although the current work doesn’t give me the satisfaction that I long for.
